Research has proven that the act of simply focusing on your previous positive relationships can have a profound positive influence on your current romantic relationship.Take this a step further by taking part in activities designed for couples.But journaling and sharing the contents with your partner can also have a profound effect on your relationship’s security.It provides a platform for greater honesty and openness, and improves trust between you and your partner.This could be done either through journaling, discussion with your partner, or even just taking a few moments for yourself to conjure up these positive memories.Hopefully, the above suggestions have shown that developing a more secure attachment style does not need to be strenuous.Increasing the security of your attachment with your loved one can be an enjoyable experience.And it can be as simple as learning to open up and share a few details about your lives.Remember to above all, do your best to be honest and show compassion, both to yourself and your partner.But the nature of life means that we are all bound to be single at one time or another.This could be due to luck on the dating scene, commitments in other areas of our lives, or even death and bereavement.For some of us, being single can be a traumatic process.This may be due to our attachment style, and the circumstances that led to us being in the situation.It may lead us to settle, agreeing to spend our life with someone we do not love, or who does not love us in return.While some of us relish time alone, and may choose to be single, many people prefer, and even crave the company of other people.While there is nothing inherently wrong with this – after all, it comes down to our personality and attachment styles – it is important not to fall to pieces the moment we find ourselves alone.Our upbringing, unsurprisingly, can have a big effect on the way we respond to being alone.Our response to this situation is due largely to what is termed our family script.If you grew up in a large family with people constantly around you, you may have a more difficult time adjusting to being on your own.Conversely, those who grew up with distant or absent parents are able to more quickly adjust when they find their relationships ending.But as we have learned, our attachment styles can always be changed and improved.It’s just a matter of understanding ourselves more thoroughly, and determining why we have particular behaviours or fears.Start with asking yourself exactly what it is about being single that scares you.Is it the belief that people will judge you?Perhaps you are afraid that not having a partner will cause you to miss out on a lot of things.In this case, you could examine why you feel you need a partner to take part in experiences.Are there are things you have been waiting for a partner to do, such as traveling, when you can just as easily do them on your own?It’s also worth examining just where this fear has come from.Can you identify incidences from your past that may have contributed to your fear of being alone?Perhaps, like the above example, you grew up surrounded by your large family, and not having company feels strange and unnatural.Or maybe there was an incident in your early childhood that sparked this fear – for example, you may have wandered off as a child and lost your mother in a shopping mall.Understanding the underlying causes of this fear can go a long way towards addressing and removing them.If you find yourself struggling to be single, take the time to really ask yourself what you want from life.This can be with regards to your goals and aspirations, and also as related to your attachment style.What is it that your attachment style demands?Do you need validation from others in order to feel secure in yourself?Or do you crave alone time?This is also a great opportunity to explore new interests and hobbies.What have you always wanted to try, but have never done?Is there a hobby from your past that used to bring you joy?Can you incorporate this back into your life?While it might seem silly, the reality is that relationship counselling is not just for couples.As we know, one of the most important relationships we have is with ourselves.If you are struggling with your single status, it might be worth seeking the help of a qualified counsellor in order to get to the root of exactly what it is that is causing your distress.Depending on your desires, personality and attachment style, the thought of being happy and single might seem impossible to achieve.But the reality is that there are plenty of men and women who are extremely happy without a partner, both through personal choice and external circumstances.There are plenty of benefits to being single you have the freedom to decide what you’re going to do and when, you rarely have to compromise, plus you get the whole bed to yourself!But despite this, it can be difficult to be happy and single when you really want a partner.Society teaches us that we must find love in order to be happy.But in reality, it is the other way around.When we are happy with ourselves and our lives, we are far more likely to attract love.Engage in mindful and meaningful activities.Let’s break this one down, as it contains two elements.After all, we don’t have to seek anyone’s approval, or compromise with a partner about how we will spend our weekend!Discussed in the previous section, it can be of great benefit to take some time to identify activities and experiences that you love, or have always wanted to do.